From have to HAD

Today I moved from a have to a HAD. I've  gotten so used to saying I have breast cancer that it feels weird to say I HAD breast cancer. Weird for sure but FANTASTIC at the same time! I had my last follow up apptmt with my Radiologist at UTSW since my radiation therapy is complete and she said, "Congratulations, things look good, I'll see you in a year for routine follow up." I also met a woman in the waiting room who was just starting radiation today. She complimented me on my hairstyle. I actually have enough hair to start having one of those again too! I was telling her how many rounds of chemo, surgery, radiation and then I said, "I had Stage 3  breast cancer." HAD, that single word echoed in my head right as I said it. I HAD breast cancer, wow, as in past tense! I walked away from that conversation with a different perspective, I'm now officially a HAD instead of a have. At the same time, any survivor will tell you that cancer is always in their review mirror, every day they glance up, knowing it's there and hoping it stays right where it's supposed to be, BEHIND them. I'm sitting here now at the cancer clinic getting my Herceptin drip, which I will continue to get every 3 weeks through May. I also start the long process of reconstruction soon with multiple surgeries scheduled in 2015 to become my new normal. All of this AHEAD of me though, new and exciting things on the horizon for me, Lainey and this wonderful Foundation God has given us the opportunity to help others through. So today, when I look in my review mirror and see cancer back there, I just put the pedal to the metal, and give this life all I've got, moving full steam ahead. If it catches me again one day, so be it, but I've got odds on me and the one riding shotgun with me. He's brought me this far, so I'll keep trusting in HIM and know that "it is well with my soul!"  Happy New Year!